Stockholm Syndrome
by prin69
Summary: Gibbs left poor Ziva alone in the office with Tony all day. Not, not, NOT a Tiva.
1. That Fateful Hour

**In this Tony spends his day annoying Ziva for amusement. Chapters are written with no actions, no descriptions, and no settings. Just the characters talking back and forth. They are sitting at their desks. If they go anywhere else it will state so in their dialogue.**

**Thank you to: the beta, Thought.**

**Summary: Gibbs left poor Ziva alone in the office with Tony all day. Not, not, not a Tiva.**

**XxXxXxXxXx**

"Where is he?"

"What?"

"Where is he?"

"Where's who?"

"Who? What do you mean who? Gibbs! Where's Gibbs?"

"He's not coming in today, Ziva."

"Very funny, Tony. Now where is he?"

"Oh, Ziva, Ziva, Ziva. Ye of little faith."

"Don't you trust me?"

"Never."

"Ouch."

"Never mind, I'll call him myself."

"You can try, but his phone is off."

"… ."

"Alright, fine. Gibbs, Abby, and McGee are all off on assignment."

"Why are we not with them?"

"Because apparently our phones were off so now we get to spend the day on desk duty filing paperwork with each other. Now, I know my phone was off because of a certain feisty little blonde I met at a club. What's your excuse?"

"That's disgusting."

"Jealous?"

"Never."

"Still haven't answered the question, Ziva."

"I was… busy."

"Doing what?"

"Things."

"What kind of things."

"Didn't you say that we have paperwork to do?"

"Why yes I did!"

"Well?"

"If you would turn around you will find that a mountain of dead trees has taken residence upon your desk."

"You have got to be kidding me."

"I, for one, find it a pleasure to be working solo with you, Ziva."

"Tony?"

"Yes?"

"Talk again and I will kill you with my pen."


	2. Lips say no, desk says yes

Everyone check out Thought's companion piece "Pink Is Not Your Colour", 'Because you know you want to know what's going on with the rest of the team.' ...

**XxXxXxXxXx**

"Stop that."

"Stop what?"

"That."

"Could you be more specific, Ziva? I'm doing so much. Being charming, witty, dashing."

"Hah, you wish."

"Admit it. It's taking all your strength not to jump me right now."

"I wish I could jump on you and kill you."

"With super sexy skills?"

"Eugh!"

"Admit it. You want me. You want me bad."

"Tony, the day I admit that I want you is the day where I will dress all in pink and be run over by a car driven by a zebra."

"So you admit it then."

"I just said-"

"That on your deathbed -- well death day, at least -- you will confess your love for me. You've got it bad."

"I've got nothing!"

"Sure, deny all you want, Ziva. It only shows me that with each passing second you want me more and more."

"Fine, Tony. I want you. You get me 'hot'"

"We should get back to work"

"That's it? No 'let me see your underwear'? No 'let's do it on Gibbs' desk'?"

"No. Granted, the desk would enjoy it, but no."

"Tony-"

"Ziva, no means no."


	3. Coffee?

**WWGD?**

**What Would Gibbs Do?**

**(He'd read and review).**

**XxXxXxXxXx **

"Tony, would you like to join me for a coffee break?"

"After you sexually harassed me ten minutes ago? I think I'll just stay at my desk. I feel safer here. Bright lights. Cameras to record assault. And my own water bottle so you can't slip me anything."

"…. Fine. I'll be back."

"I'll be here!"

"…"

… .

"Ziva, where were you?"

"I had to go to another floor because the coffee machine was broken."

"You went to get coffee?"

"Yes, Tony."

"And you didn't ask me if I wanted any?"

"I did."

"No you didn't!"

"Yes I did!"

"I think I would have remembered that, Zee-vah."

"And I remember asking you, Tony"

"Whatever."

"Tony-"

"No, fine, lie to your teammate when he's coffee-less."

"You accused me of wanting to sexually assault you!"

"I would never! Sexual assault is a serious thing, and I can not believe that you would

belittle it so. For shame, Ziva. For shame."


	4. The Bat Cave

**Uh, I was sick? And feverish? And, uh, that's why I've taken so long to update? ...**

**XxXxXxXxXx **

"Ziva. Ziva. Zee-vah. Zeeeeeeeeee-vaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Ziva, Ziva, Ziva!"

"What, Tony? What, what, what! What else could you possibly want?"

"Can you pass me that pen?"

"Fine. Catch."

"Why, what excellent aim, Ziva."

"Thank you, Tony. How very…nice of you to notice."

"Oh, but Ziva, I notice so much more than that."

"I feel like I will regret this, but what else do you notice, Tony?"

"Oh, nothing really. Just the way the light falls upon your hair and lights you up like an angel. The sweet musical quality to your voice. Your sense of justice."

"Tony, that is the nicest thing you have ever said to me."

"Well, Ziva, I'm not done yet."

"You aren't?"

"Nope, I still have one more thing to say, more important than the rest."

"Okay, Tony, I'm listening."

"Well, there are several ways to say it. But since you aren't up on American cultural I'll put it simply. You need to blow your nose because you have this gross thing that moves when you breathe, just hanging there."

**XxXxXxXxXx**


	5. Salvation!

"Gibbs! You're back!"

"Very observant, Ziva."

"It's just that I was alone with him for so long that Tony was actually starting to seem attractive to me."

"Gee, we were gone for a long time."

"Shut up, McGee. So, Ziva, what's that about me being develishly handsome and my raw sex appeal? ... Ow! I mean, thank you boss. I've been needing one all day."

"Tony, Ziva!"

"Abby, I thought you were going down to the lab."

"I was Gibbs, but I forgot something. Tony, here."

"A small bag that you have to give Tony is more important them taking those to your lab?"

"Yep!"

"Fine. Now go to your lab. The rest of you get to work."

"..."

"Now!"

"Yes boss."

"Yes sir."

"Oh! what was that for?"

"Ziva, if you goof off like Tony, then you will be swatted like Tony. Geeze, you two must have been left alone together longer then I thought."

"Well, Gibbs, Ziva was in here all day. I mean I offered that she go upstairs to spend time with Jenny, but she just wanted to stay here. What can I say, it must be my sex appeal. Ziva, you're turning pretty red, are you okay?"

"Fine."

"Hey boss where are you doing?"

"To see if Abby is actually doing her work, McGee. And when I get back you of you had better be working as well."

"So Ziva, was it really all that bad here with To-"

"You lied to me!"

"Did I?"

"You said it as just us?"

"From the team, yes."

"Jenny was here the whole time!"

"Jenny is not on the team, Zee-vah."

"I could kill you!"

"But you won't. Because we bonded."

"More like you held me hostage."

"You tied her up?"

"No Mcgee, but if she's into that... ."

"You'll never know, Tony."

"Ring Ring Ring."

"Tony, is that my phone?"

"Is what your phone?"

"That bag."

"What bag?"


End file.
